You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just cut my nipple shaving
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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