i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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