Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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