Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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