i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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