i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
