Umm I'm too high to move.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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