gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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