Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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