i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
