I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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