Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
