Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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