babies were throwing up all over the place
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
