this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
