I'm really into asian looking animals
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
