I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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