One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You ruined the universe
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
