i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
