Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
