If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
