She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
And then he peed in my hair
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