And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
