Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I've blown a few things in my day
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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