Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Randomize
