Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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