Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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