If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
