dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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