My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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