i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
