Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
