How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
