it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
