Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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