well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
