There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
