Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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