ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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