it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
