"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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