I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
