idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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