Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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