I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
