she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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