i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
are you so shy because you have an std?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
