Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Terrible idea I love it
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
