oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
God, I missed his penis.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
