hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
