I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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