Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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