i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
